Before & After Baby Bianca

It’s no secret that I had the most obnoxious pregnancy EVER. Last year, I wrote extensively about the deep depression I fell into during my first trimester.  Once I got over that hump, I was actually able to enjoy a small portion of the middle part of my pregnancy.  The second trimester is commonly referred to as “the golden trimester” and now I understand why.  Your hormones settle down a bit after the initial pregnancy surge, and you’re not yet experiencing all the discomfort associated with the third trimester.  I was able to exercise and blog and live a somewhat normal life for about two months before things got bad again.  It was right around 28 weeks that everything started going downhill.

I really struggled with the weight of my pregnancy, and I believe it was due to my small frame.  At 5 feet tall with a (pre pregnancy) 24 inch waist, there wasn’t a ton of room for baby to grow…so once the third trimester hit I started to feel really heavy and tremendously bloated (even though I wasn’t actually that big).  I know every woman goes through this to some extent, but in my case it was so bad that I couldn’t eat.  I would get hungry, but I couldn’t take more than a few bites of anything before the pressure of my insides made me feel like I might explode.  During the third trimester they estimate you’re supposed to gain a pound a week as your baby packs on fat.  I stopped gaining weight, period.  As in I gained nothing. When I was hospitalized at 30 weeks for false labor contractions they did blood work and the nurse came in (all on her high horses) to tell me that according to my ketone levels my body was starving.  She kept going on about how I needed to eat and I was like oh really thanks, get this baby out and maybe I can eat again.  It was a bone of contention with my OB as well, who would constantly tell my husband to make sure I was eating – not that I didn’t want to!  I made it very clear to her that I couldn’t, and I know she understood, because during one of my visits she verbatim confirmed that my stomach was shoved up in my ribs. That alone was miserable enough, but to make it 386,757,687,798 times worse, I also suffered from a nasty case of SPD and pregnancy induced sciatic.  SPD stands for symphysis pubis dysfunction and it occurs when the pelvic ligaments (which loosen during pregnancy) cause dysfunction to your joints and muscles.  Basically, the ligaments in my hips and pelvis loosened up to accommodate a growing baby, and it caused my whole pelvic structure to become wobbly and unstable.  Aside from actively feeling wobbly, my muscles tried to compensate for the instability, causing intense muscular pain and tension. AND in my case, towards the end of my pregnancy, baby was head down but slightly sideways so that her head was jammed deep into my right hip, causing leg cramps and sciatic nerve pain.  I was a legitimate, miserable mess.  I could barely walk, let alone bend down or ride in a car.  Sleep was non existent.  Getting into bed in itself was a chore, and there was NO position in which I could lie comfortably.  Some nights I was so exhausted and so uncomfortable that I would break down and cry.  I will never forget how horrible it was, and that experience alone is enough to stop me from ever having another child (not that I planned on having more anyway).

Now LABOR on the other hand was a breeze.  Maybe because my pregnancy was so horrible by comparison, but honest to God I would go through labor ten times over rather than live through that pregnancy again.  First of all, in some strange way I think the universe was looking out for me, because I went into labor a full month early.  Realistically, I think my body just couldn’t hang on any longer – that last month might have killed me.  The night before my water broke, I experienced a few strong contractions but thought nothing of it because I’d been getting Braxton Hicks on and off for months.  It was too early for labor, or so I thought.  So there I was half asleep at 3 am when I felt a literal pop in my vagina – as in it felt like a balloon popping inside my crotch.  And the next thing I know I was leaking fluid.  So I quickly woke my husband and told him my water broke.  By 3:45 we were at the hospital and by 4:30 I was all settled in a delivery room.  My labor was a whirlwind because it happened so fast.  I’ve read about women who have time to do their makeup and take naps and all that – not in my case, no way!  As soon as my water broke, my contractions started coming on really strong, and by the time I was set up in a room, they were so intense I couldn’t stop shaking.  I told my L&D nurse that I sensed my baby was coming quickly but she straight up didn’t believe me.  She laughed and said no way, you’re lucky if you dilate 1 cm per hour, especially for a first pregnancy.  So she left the room and so did my husband as he went on a quest for food.  I knew better and soon I was buzzing the nurse to insist, I’m sorry but this baby is coming.  She huffed and puffed and said fine I’ll come check you…and sure enough I had dilated from 3 cm to 7 cm in about an hour.  It was at this point that she informed me that my OB was out of town.  And then she informed me that both on-call doctors were wrapped up in emergency c-sections, and given how fast my baby was coming, she might have to deliver the baby herself.  I remained 100% calm as all of this information was relayed, because I knew that baby was coming no matter who was there to receive her. That and the pain.  When you’re in that much pain, nothing else bothers you. You just want the pain to stop. Different women experience labor pain differently…some say they only feel contractions in their backs (yeah right)!  In my case, I would describe active labor contractions as if someone was twisting a knife low in my abdomen.  It was a very sharp, acute, and horrible pain.  HOWEVER, it was also strangely helpful, because as I learned, working with your contractions gets your baby out quickly. I hadn’t taken a birthing class, but the nurses present during delivery knew their stuff and guided me perfectly.  Fifteen minutes of pushing and baby was out!  Bianca was born at exactly 9 am on a Sunday morning.  My labor was only 6 hrs from the time my water broke til she made her entrance, and for that I’m incredibly grateful. Little one was 5 lbs 6 oz and 17 inches long.  Although she was tiny, she was perfectly healthy, and was able to come home with us upon discharge two days later.  (p.s. Bianca was not delivered by the nurse…at the last minute they pulled a doctor into the room who just happened to be walking the floor.  She wasn’t even on that night but she wound up delivering my baby!)

Not only was I blessed with an easy labor, but more so I’ve been blessed with an easy baby. Prior to getting pregnant, I never wanted children.  Even during my pregnancy I was dreading it.  But now that my baby is here, I can wholeheartedly say she’s the love of my life.  Bianca is my princess, and I tell her everyday (like 1000 times a day) how much I love her.  She’s a total sweetheart.   She pretty much never cries, and at barely four months she already sleeps 6-7 hours at night without fussing.  She naps peacefully throughout the day, and loves going places.  We can take her out to eat, to the mall, to friends’ houses, etc.  It doesn’t bother her at all…she just chills and looks around and takes it all in. So this bit is not nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  And of course I’m completely obsessed with dressing her!!!  I literally have a closet stocked with clothes up to one year because I can’t stop shopping.  I used to hate baby stuff, but clearly something in my brain has flipped, because all I want is to shop for baby clothes ALL THE TIME.

So there you have it.  I’m enjoying this mom thing a lot more than I thought I would.  Of course it helps that I have a very hands on husband.  He loves his daughter to bits and does so much to help out and give me the time I need.  I plan to write more about motherhood very soon, but I also can’t wait to get back to outfit sharing!  I really missed being able to wear most of wardrobe during pregnancy, and I’m so glad that most of it already fits again.  Though I still have a tiny bit of weight to loose (and I plan to blog about that as well).  I hope everyone had a great New Year and I’ll see y’all soon.  Xoxo